Thursday, April 29, 2010

Everything Relating to The Boy

I hate nostalgia sometimes. It creeps into my skin and regenerates, alters me. Like a virus. And sometimes it's the worst feeling in the world. Like when I was in a relationship. The most fun I had with him was before we were even dating. He came to homecoming with me. It was so innocent, new, happy, curious. He was the Supreme Ruler of Sarcasm and I was the Queen.
I miss that. Once we started to date, things went downhill fast. Two weeks in, cheated on me. Three months in, he told me about it. Four months in, he didn't want me anymore. He didn't even have the decency to end it. No, I had to because he was "50/50". I felt thrown out like a paper towel. This leaves me so lost. This song played and made me think of this whole situation:

You're not sure that you love me
But you're not sure enough to let me go
Baby it ain't fair, you know
To just keep me hanging 'round

You say you don't want to hurt me
Don't want to see my tears
So why are you still standing here
Just watching me drown?

And it's alright, yeah I'll be fine
Don't worry about this heart of mine
Just take your love and hit the road

There's nothing you can do or say
You're gonna break my heart anyway
So just leave the pieces when you go

Now you can drag out the heartache
Baby you can make it quick
Really get it over with
And just let me move on

Don't concern yourself
With this mess you left for me
I can clean it up, you see
Just as long as you're gone

And it's alright, yeah I'll be fine
Don't worry about this heart of mine
Just take your love and hit the road

There's nothing you can do or say
You're gonna break my heart anyway
So just leave the pieces when you go

You're not making up your mind
It's killing me and wasting time
I need so much more than that
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

And it's alright, yeah I'll be fine
Don't worry about this heart of mine
Just take your love and hit the road

There's nothing you can do or say
You're gonna break my heart anyway
So just leave the pieces when you go
Leave the pieces when you go
Oh yeah, leave the pieces when you go

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah, yeah
Leave the pieces when you go


This makes me cry, because it's exactly how the cheating went:


It's strange to think the songs we used to sing
The smiles, the flowers, everything: is gone
Yesterday I found out about you
Even now just looking at you: feels wrong
You say that you'd take it all back, given one chance
It was a moment of weakness and you said yes...

[Chorus:]

You should've said no, you should've gone home
You should've thought twice before you let it all go
You should've know that word, bout what you did with her
Would get back to me...
And I should've been there, in the back of your mind
I shouldn't be asking myself why
You shouldn't be begging for forgiveness at my feet...
You should've said no, baby and you might still have me

You can see that I've been crying
And baby you know all the right things: to say
But do you honestly expect me to believe
We could ever be the same...
You say that the past is the past, you need one chance
It was a moment of weakness and you said yes...

[Repeat Chorus]

I can't resist... before you go, tell me this
Was it worth it...
Was she worth this...

No... no no no...

[Repeat Chorus]


Tissues have become a necessity in my life lately. And I absolutely hate admiting how weak I am. Because he was right, I should figure stuff out.
He was also right about me being self-concious. But it's not like he did anything to help that, did he?

1 comment:

  1. i have decided that any boy who does this to you is an absolute d-bag and i am probably going to delete him from my facebook friends now. :]

    iloveyou.

    ReplyDelete